How to Stop Living in Crisis Mode
We’ve all been there. When life feels like a never-ending game of whack-a-mole, putting out fires, juggling responsibilities, keeping all the plates spinning without letting any crash to the floor. In these moments, we’re not really living our lives so much as reacting to them.
And that’s the key word here: react.
By definition, to react is to respond automatically, emotionally, and without much intention or thought. It’s knee-jerk. It’s survival mode. When you’re reacting, you’re not making choices—you’re just trying to make it through the day without everything falling apart.
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re barely holding it together, I’ve got good news: you don’t have to stay stuck in crisis mode. Shifting out of reaction and into something far more powerful is possible. But it requires a different way of looking at things, starting with what it really means to take responsibility for your life.
Rethinking Responsibility: Enter Response-Ability
Most of us hear the word responsibility and think of it as a burden, another thing to carry or a list of obligations that keep growing no matter how much we check off. But what if we flipped the script?
What if, instead of viewing it as a heavy load, we broke the word down and saw it as response-ability—the ability to respond?
To respond means to act thoughtfully, deliberately, and with consideration. It’s about making conscious choices instead of automatic reactions. It’s pausing, taking a breath, and deciding what to do next instead of jumping into the fray without a second thought.
Response-ability is the difference between surviving your life and designing it.
Why We Default to Reaction (and Why That’s Not Your Fault)
Before you judge yourself for being reactive, it’s important to know this: your nervous system is doing exactly what it was built to do.
When you feel unsafe, unseen, overworked, or overwhelmed, your body moves into protection mode. That might look like snapping at your partner, zoning out at work, or trying to do all the things at once just to regain a sense of control.
It’s not weakness. It’s wiring.
But here’s the hopeful part, your nervous system can learn new patterns. You can build in spaciousness. You can interrupt those automatic responses and choose something different. And when you do, the shift isn’t just mental – it’s physical, emotional, and spiritual. That’s the power of response-ability. It doesn’t require perfection. Just presence.
The Catch: You Need Space to Respond
Here’s the tricky part… you can’t respond thoughtfully if you’re constantly overwhelmed and exhausted. When you’re running on fumes, reaction is all you’ve got. That’s why moving into response-ability requires something most of us are terrible at prioritizing: rest and space.
To truly build your ability to respond instead of react, you need to take care of your wellbeing. That means creating time to allow your mind and body to rest so your heart and spirit can actually be heard. It means giving yourself permission to slow down, to breathe, to reflect – without guilt or apology.
This takes practice, and building up your mental noticing muscles. The more adept you become at noticing and observing challenges, the less activated your nervous system is in the face of challenges. This creates space for you to respond and move into what I call a Choice Driven life.
What Living in Response Actually Looks Like
Let’s be clear, living a Choice Driven life doesn’t mean life stops being messy. It just means you stop being ruled by the mess.
Over time, with practice, a subtle shift happens. It becomes rare that you’re nervous system is hijacked by every inconvenience, comment, or crisis. You become a steadying presence in your own life.
Here’s what that can look like:
- Saying no without apology or over-explaining
- Creating rhythms that restore instead of deplete
- Asking for help before the breaking point
- Making space for creativity, connection, and quiet
- Taking aligned action instead of spiraling in self-doubt
- Naturally and powerfully prioritizing soul and self-care
- Feeling capable and ‘oddly calm’ in the face of change or challenges
It’s not about being calm all the time. It’s about being connected to yourself—enough to choose how you want to show up.
Tools to Build Your Response-Ability
Like I’ve said, making this shift takes practice and patience (if you’re new to my space – spoiler alert – there are no quick fixes or life hacks here). However this shift is absolutely possible. I know because I’ve been on this journey myself and watched hundreds of clients find their path toward choice as well.
To help you start building your ability to respond, I’ve got six tools for your metaphysical tool belt. Each is coupled with a practice or exercise that will help you implement the tool immediately. Together then can help you create the space and clarity needed to move out of reaction and more fully into intentional living.
You can learn about each of these tools through a class called Tools for Life, which is included in a membership to The Meadow. If you’re not familiar, The Meadow is a virtual community (totally free from the distractions and drama of social media) filled with lifelong seekers – people who, like you, want to live intentionally and align their lives with what truly matters.
Spoiler Alert: Community Is One of the Tools
Yep, one of the six tools is actually community. Because the people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on your ability to respond instead of react. Being part of a space where you can get grounded, reflect, and connect can be a game-changer for your response-ability.
If you’re ready to stop living in reaction mode and start building a life with more intention, flow, and magic, I’d love for you to join us in The Meadow.
Click here to learn more and get started.
Because you deserve more than just surviving, you deserve to design a life you love.
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